this is a third party account of the gold fish incident that happened in Berkeley last year (a true story, however, i was not present, and thus cannot be held accountable for any misrepresentation or any omissions of details):
arturo (my neighbour in international house) had a new roommate. His new roommate, a German breed, was Marcel. Marcel who had just hooked up with a new girl, decided to get something nice for her. He bought few goldfishes and put them in the room. For some odd reasons, he hadnt got a chance to give them to her and he had to be away for a couple of days. Trusting his roommate, Arturo (a crazy mexican), to take care of them while he was away, is how this incident started.
One night, Arturo, Apple, Ryan and Carsten were drunk and loud. They were hanging out at Arturo’s room after some kinda party. Predictably, they were hungry. The usual and famous CheeseStick delivery was no longer an option. It was quite late. Carsten, another german breed, started to challenge Ryan to eat the goldfish. A challenge that Ryan accepted as long as Carsten eat it first. Carsten with his ego on the line, and that rumbling stomach, ate one. Ryan followed suit. Apple (she is a Kiwi), representing the woman, decided to level up by having another goldfish. Knowing that America, Europe and Oceania had been represented, Arturo, could not bear the fact that South America was behind. He acted against humanity and join the worst astrocity committed to ‘animality’ that night by eating another one.
While they were still in the state of denial, they decided that it wasnt fun enough. They would like to ‘free’ the goldfish. Couldn’t see any ocean or pond around, the only nearest option for them, is a female toilet. They took one, threw the goldfish into the toilet bowl and flushed it down (hoping that the fish will enjoy its new found freedom by travelling down the sewerage, and wishing that i would end up in the bay).
They left one, maybe because they felt bad for Marcel. Afterall, the goldfishes were meant to be an expression of his love to his gf. Arturo, feeling the guilt the next day, bought new goldfishes, and put them back in the jar. Marcel, upon his return, noticed that the goldfishes were different from what he bought earlier.
The rest is history…….. if in the future, there is a war between Germany and Mexico, with the US and NZ behind Mexico, you know how it all started. The media will undoubtfully label that event as the Goldfish War.